3:30-4:15am Get up and feed Hannah
4:45 - Hannah wakes up and Peti gets up for her (ends up sitting in an armchair with her in his arms til morning).
6:20 - Get up and shower
6:40 - Come out of bathroom and find Hannah in our bed attempting to slide down
6:45 - Hannah does a poo in our bed. I am still not dressed.
6:55 - Get dressed and scrape Hannah out of poo. Open her nappy and she poos again - all over me.
7:05 - Clean Hannah, walls, carpet and soak poo covered clothes. Change Hannah's clothes.
7:15 - Sarah does a poo. Agrees to nappy change and I suggest we get dressed at the same time. Takes off her pyjamas but won't get dressed. Agree on compromise - pyjamas go back on over 1 sock and her jeans. I also realise she is running around with Hannah's binky. I replace it.
7:20 - Put on slow cooker (prepped the night before)
7:25 - Prepare Hannah's bottle and feed her. Sarah steals Hannah's binky.
7:30 - Mum calls with instructions regarding my grandmother coming out of hospital.
7:45 - Heard toilet flush (I am still feeding Hannah and Peti has gone to work)
7:46 - Get to toilet to catch dolly's leg before she is flushed down. Add dolly to poo soaking pile.
7:50 - Give up on Hannah's bottle and prepare her breakfast. Sarah steals Hannah's binky.
8:00 - Give Hannah breakfast
8:05 - Heard toilet flush and decided my nerves need a break. Turn tv on for Sarah.
8:10 - Get back to Hannah and realise she has done a poo which has exploded up her back and in the high chair. Finish eating.
8:20 - clean Hannah up, change her clothes
8:25 - Hang out washing / start dryer
8:28 - take Hannah's binky off Sarah and replace
8:30 - Give Hannah rest of her bottle and put her down for a nap.
8:40 - Take Hannah's binky off Sarah and replace
8:45 - Prepare Sarah's breakfast, unpack dishwasher and sit down to eat with her. I'm in and out of Hannah's room 10 times at least until she actually falls asleep around 9:00.
8:50 - Realise that nappy bag not packed for the day and pack whilst Sarah eating breakfast. She has me up and down at least 10 times with requests.
9:20 - Realise I'm hungry and grab and apple.
9:21 - Sarah wants my apple. I give her her own.
9:23 - I lose my apple. That was always going to happen.
9:25 - Go to the bathroom tp dry my hair and use the facilities - sing Miss Polly Had a Dolly 5 times in a cat's voice
9:30 - Hannah wakes up with a poo
9:30 - Get Sarah dressed and change her nappy
9:35 - Change Hannah's nappy and clothes. Add to poo soaking pile.
9:40 - Leave the flat (should have done at 9:30) Sarah insists on taking her pink stroller
9:50 - Everyone sitting in their car seats after use of extensive bribery
9:55 - Realise I was supposed to call the hospital at 9:00. Call Dad and relieved he has done it. Says something about me being unreliable.
10:10 - Park and arrive at our art'n'move class
10:15 everyone out of the car but Sarah wants to push her pink stroller in. I don't have the heart to tell her I left it at home. Carry her in kicking and screaming. Hannah crying in the stroller.
10:20 - Arrive - thank goodness others are late today too. Should start at 10:15
10:21 - Sit down in the circle. Both girls do a poo within 5 minutes.
10:25 - Clean Hannah and put her on floor to play. She is not happy (as she only slept for 30 minutes and a healthy sleep should be 90 mins). Balance Hannah and Sarah on my lap during class. Dance with both kids.
10:45 - Start to feed Hannah. Realise she has done a poo
10:55 - Change Hannah
11:00 - Start to change Sarah
11:05 - Sarah won't have nappy changed and starts running around without a nappy
11:10 - With assistance of teachers we convince Sarah to get a nappy.
11:15 - Walk out to car and Hannah looses it
11:20 - Sarah sitting in her seat with an electronic bribe
11:21 - Finish feeding Hannah
11:30 - Hannah strapped in her car seat, stroller stowed and we are off for a blissfully peaceful 15 minute drive. Call Insurance company and Peti.
11:35 - Realise I still haven't had breakfast but I find some biscuits in the nappy bag. Not sure how old they are. Breakfast sorted.
11:45 - Arrive home, unpack Hannah, stroller, Sarah and pink stroller
11:50 - Finally upstairs.
11:52 - Give Hannah last of her milk in bed and tell her its nap time. She cries, I don't have time to care.
11:55 - Prepare Sarah's lunch. She decides she HAS to help and be in the kitchen. Everything takes longer.I use the time to finish packing the dishwasher
12:10 - Sarah sitting down and eating. I am in and out of Hannah's room 5 times.
12:20 - Hannah asleep and I am eating:). (Lunch is as requested bagels, smoked salmon, cream cheese, hummus, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, smoked paprika and avocado. All Sarah's request). She eats 150gms of salmon and I don't get a slice. We are going through balsamic like its going out of fashion.)
12:45 - Sarah finishes lunch and we do nappy, quick story and bed.
12:55 - I pack up kitchen and boil kettle to make Hannah's afternoon milk bottles and have a cup of tea. Pour out bottles, make tea and get down chocolate biscuit.
1:00 - Hannah wakes up crying. I go in and rock her to sleep.
1:20 - I transfer sleeping Hannah to her bed
1:25 - Hannah says g'day on monitor. Quickly run to the loo, abandon tea, shove biscuit in my mouth and rock her to sleep and then settle under her.
1:40 - Hannah back asleep and at least I have a chance to read emails, check today's news etc.
3:00 - Sarah is awake so I have to wake up Hannah to get Sarah out of bed. She's not happy.
3:10 - Put Hannah on a blanket on the floor in Sarah's room while I make her a bottle. Realise the blanket has a poo stain (unwashed) and Hannah has made a fresh contribution to nappy and blanket.
3:12 - Throw out my tea
3:15 - Clean the poo and change Hannah. Add clothes to poo soaking pile.
3:20 - Convince Sarah to come out of bed and play while I feed Hannah
3:25 - Recover Hannah's binky from Sarah and replace it
3:40 - Hannah finished her bottle
3:45 - Pack double stroller for excursion to the park.
3:50 - I tell Sarah she has to have a clean nappy before leaving for the park
3:55 - Hannah does a poo. Change Hannah
4:10 - Happily on the road with both girls in the stroller. Sarah has 3 binkies (2 are Hannah's) though these are not usually allowed in the afternoon.
4:15 Happily playing in the park
4:35 - Sarah tells me she has done a poo
4:40 Changing poo on the grass - Sarah kicks the fully formed and smelly poo on my jeans. I don't smell so nice.
4:45 - Hannah looses the plot and won't go to sleep. I realise she is hungry but as I just fed her I didn't bring more food. (Big mistake).
4:50 - Explain to Sarah we have to go. She doesn't want to. I start to leave and say goodbye. Sarah follows and then runs for the first truck.
4.55 - Hannah still screaming and screeching, Sarah won't sit in the stroller despite being offered every bribe in my arsenal.
4:56 Pick up Sarah and put her on my neck. She is kicking me but won't go in the stroller. Hannah is still screaming.
5:05 - Arrive home - Sarah still in my neck after the 750m walk home. My shoulders feel a little stiff.
5:10 - Feed Hannah and quick skype call to uncle 'Anos'.
5:20 - Take Hannah for a bath, turn TV on for Sarah
5:30 - Getting Hannah dressed when Sarah comes in with her water bottle - taken from top of stroller and Hannah's binky. 300mls of water has been spilled onto the carpet, stroller, her shoes etc.
5:35 - Restart TV show after net died
5:40 - Finish dressing Hannah and feed her before bed
6:10 - Hannah fed and done for the night.
6:15 - Start to prepare Sarah's dinner. She wants eggs. Easy.
6:20 - Peti walks in the door and Hannah starts crying. Sarah greets him very enthusiastically wearing 2 of his underpants (from his drawer) and a t shirt of her she found in the laundry basket.
6:25 - I go into Hannah's room and Peti finishes dinner.
6:30 - I collapse and sink into the computer. I usually sit down and eat with the family. I just too tired.
6:45 - Peti makes me a cocktail and I am drunk real quick. Sarah and Peti eat dinner. I normally eat with them.
7:00 - Sarah finishes dinner and I get her bath water ready, pack away Hannah's bath get out clothes for tomorrow, pyjamas and pack the daycare bag for tomorrow.
7:05 - Hannah starts crying so I go into her room
7:15 - Join Sarah in her bedtime
7:20 - Hannah crying again (this is not usual)
7:45 - Finish with Sarah, come out and finish this summary and collapse.
9:30 - Clean up Sarah's egg dinner from the floor and walls, unpack and stack dishwasher (with Peti's help)
10:00 - Scrub poo and start wash
10:15 - Sort clothes and pack nappy bag
10:30 - Prep tomorrow's dinner
10:45 - Put clothes away
11:00 - Orient towards bed and wonder why I can't ever go to bed early